Mr. Literate from Moderate Distances

You've met them. You've been bothered by them. You've probably snickered at them and/ or told them to stop.

Hell, you might even be one of them.

You know, those people who insist on reading every sign (aloud) as you drive or walk down the street.

"Xin Huan Chinese."

"A Starbucks."

"Hey, there's another Starbucks."

"Hm. Railroad Tavern and Restaurant."

Here's the thing, Mr. Literate from Modest Distances: I can read. And, by gosh, I know how to do it silently.

The worst, however, is Mr. Literate's louder, more obnoxious cousin, Mr. Clever from Moderate Distances (the whole family really gets under my skin.) Mr. Clever not only reads each and every sign, no matter how normal ("Laundry!"), but he tries to insert some clever reference or joke into it. ("We should totally go overflow some washers, etc, etc.")

Just, stop it. Stop it right now. If you can't think of a way to continue the conversation, don't rely on random street signs for inspiration, because it doesn't work. And we hate it. We hate it a lot.

Appreciate a pause once in a while. People might invite you out again.